When Labels Become Prisons

My sister and I LOVED Legos growing up. At one time, I took inventory and estimated that we had accumulated about $2000 worth. I can still hear the sound they made when we’d dump the buckets onto the floor. I can still feel that horrible feeling that can only come from stepping on a “two piece, thin”. Yes, we had names for the different sizes and shapes. As we’d put together our creations, we’d ask each for desired pieces as a surgeon would ask for a scalpel. Here’s a rough guide to our lego language. It’s much more in depth but this will get you started.

I was more than a little upset when I heard that they had created “girl” Legos recently. Now, this isn’t anything new. My sister and I were given a “girl” set and the only benefit was that the set added more girl faces to our Lego people. The pastel blocks didn’t go at all with the rest of our stockade of lego blocks so in general, the purple and pink Legos just tended to piss me off because they didn’t look right with the other blocks.

This new “girl” Lego set however, is an abomination to an avid Lego fan like me. These “girl” Lego sets are packed with enough stereotypes to choke a mule. Please note the girl in the hot tub with a fruity beverage.

WTF??!! Legos are about unlimited possibilities ie. Fantasy, Pirates, Spaceships, Castles, Amazing tanks and cars. But evidently, there are very few possibilities if you are expected to play with these “girl” legos.

These are the sets that I grew up with.

Which often had chicks like this.

We also go this set for Christmas.

Notice the girl Buccaneer walking the guy off the plank.

When we label ambiguous things (plastic lego blocks, toy trains, purple game controllers) to pertain to boys or girls, we have just shrunk the world of that boy or girl. I had NO IDEA that Legos were a “boy’s” toy. I still have a hard time believing that because they were never presented to me that way. If I had been told that Legos were for boys except for these bland “girl” Legos I would have missed out on an amazing hobby and joy as a child. Labeling random things as “girl” or “boy” activities essentially draws a fence that forces a child to choose. “Do I do what is expected of me and deny a color/hobby that I’m drawn to?” Labels often cause a child to feel a rejection because of their preferences. When a parent denies a child an experience because it is culturally considered to belong to the other gender, the parent is essentially telling the child that their preferences and what they like is “wrong.”

Marketing is to blame for so much of this, but I think parents are definitely to blame as well. A lot of parents believe they are safeguarding their child against becoming homosexual by aligning them with such over-the-top declarations of perceived feminine and masculine behavior. The trouble comes when a child gets old enough to assert their choices (if the parent even allows this) and they don’t “fit in” to those extremely tiny definitions of what it means to be a boy or a girl. When a girl is good at math or has an interest in mechanical operations, or when a boy is kind and interested in the arts, they start to get labeled and bullied from all sides. Girls are called “Tomboys” for simply having fun with toy trucks or army men (Oh yeah, I liked them too). But it gets really insidious when it comes to boys not fitting in the He-Man box. ”Sissy, homo, pussy”, these slurs are used by coaches, fathers, and friends on boys who are very young who don’t “match up”.

The funny thing, is that when women and men are adults, we suddenly expect men to be gentle to their wives and children, and women to be able to change a tire in an emergency situation. I’m sure there are many confused men out there who get married and wonder why their wife is expecting them to act “like a woman” (read: understanding, patient, gentle”) Can we have a plate of confusion with a side of resentment over here?

To be fair, in the five sets marketed to girls, out of shopping scenes and backyard barbecues, there was one girl operating a robot in a lab. In that ratio though, they probably mean for her to be cleaning the laboratory for her brainy, male boss. “Put that remote control down you tomboy!”